I've been acting out lately, wallowing in my personality disorder, taking things too far again. I push the limits because I can, because it makes me high, because I get bored. I work myself to death because if I have free time I stagnate and become boring. I create drama because I need something to talk about and something to make me feel, alive, or broken, or on fire. I am a mess at any given moment, even though I really don't have to be.
That's just the way I am. Maybe I could change it. I look at myself, disparaging, and laugh in that high, sarcastic, crazy way.
I take my clothes off and bask in the adulation.
I take my skin off and show everyone the twisted bits underneath.
I am made of tempered glass, transparent, sharp, bulletproof, defracting light and confusing things even when you can see my soul.
I try to be good for a long time, but eventually I just can't keep it up anymore. I WANT someone to get mad at me again. I want to hit rock bottom again. I want to fall apart.
why? I don't know.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
*hug* you will be just fine dear. :3
ReplyDeleteIf you ever need someone to come help you up, or someone to talk to, by all means just give me a shout.