Short Update

Wow, it's been 2 weeks since I've written. I've had a lot going on, but no clear thoughts to write about. I only have five minutes right now.

Last week was really stressful for me. I had a fantastic weekend at work, including an all-time high money wise. I got to meet some really fun people and generally just mess around. And then, during the week, a person from my past came back into my life. Dealing with this person was incredibly stressful and emotionally draining, so I didn't end up doing anything functional the entire weekend. I wanted to go climbing, work, go to aeirals drop in, but none of that happened. Instead I curled into a little ball, sweating and shaking with fever, afraid of the world outside.

So now, of course, I have no money.

Back to the real world, back to work, ignoring this person as best I can. I worked my day job monday and today, and got my hair done yesterday! It's super beautiful, red and purple microring human hair. I love it but it's been so long since I've had long hair, I'm totally clueless when it comes to styling.

I'm off to work tonight, I've never worked a weeknight so hopefully it will go ok. I wish I dared try the amateur contest again, but I need some guarunteed money, even if its only $100.

I wish I could make my brain be stable, push past the horrible feelings, and just be happy. Drugs (pharmaceutical or otherwise) become more and more appealing. But that's not who I want to be.

Maybe a winning lottery ticket will fall on me out of the sky.

sucky suck.

Tonight was shit. I made a lousy 200. I am 90% sure the girl counted my dances wrong, but what proof do I have? None. I learned a couple hard newbie lessons tonight, and I'm not very happy with myself.

*Keep your dance tickets
*Don't believe guys when they say they are going to tip you, they just have to go to the ATM.

Ugh. I really wanted to take a weekend off in March and go snowboarding and see some people, but if I want to do the trips I'm planning I really can't afford to. Especially if things continue as they are. Ugggghhh.

And my braids turned out less-than-spectacular, due to my thin short hair, cheap extension hair, and rushing them. Goddammit.

On the plus side, I had an amazing night at the club with my friends last night! It was a really good time! I hung out with my girls, saw a bunch of amazing people, and went to a neat little afterparty at a gorgeous apartment.

It's funny, $200 is WAY more than my best night at the bar that I worked at last spring, and would still be considered a decent day tree planting, and is double what I make in a shift at my day job, BUT in comparison it feels horrible! I should be compensated better for dancing my naked ass off! Lol.

Live and learn, little gypsy, live and learn. You are young yet.