Things are slipping apart again, so soon, dammit

Excerpts from a letter I wrote...

"This is the seed of doubt. It festers in the darkness, and when the lights are on, when i am happy, you can't see into the shadows. But that seed of doubt lies in wait, catches fire to fill the darkness with destruction.

My heart cries in anguish as I write, trying to give form and organization to the thoughts that keep creeping back in under my skin.

Maybe the fault is my own. Who would trust a gypsy? How can you believe that someone with itchy feet and a turbulent personality wants a place to come home to?

The seed of doubt grows, roots twisting around her heart, and down into her soul. Perhaps if she rips out her own heart, making a clean break before the roots are too deep, her soul might survive when hope finally dies. She thinks, it is probably already too deep."

you will never love her enough....